Eyes Wide Shut: The Art of Eye Contact
The phrase "eyes are the windows to the soul" reflects an ancient belief (popularized by Plato, the Bible, and even Shakespeare) that eyes reveal a person's inner emotions and character. Many self-help and dating tips suggest that gazing deeply into your date's eyes is the secret to building a connection. However, there is research that shows this may not be entirely true.
Research at Kyoto University found that making direct eye contact can actually make it harder to focus on listening and responding. This is because the same mental resources are used for both maintaining eye contact and processing language. You may have experienced this in your own life when someone looks away while trying to remember something.
So, for your next date, you may want to try an activity that positions you next to your date, not across from her. This positioning helps create a relaxed atmosphere that encourages conversation and connection. Planning a side-by-side activity can be fun and easy - here are some ideas to get you started:
Visit the Union Square Holiday Market in Manhattan, named best holiday market in America in 2023. It is home to 185 vendors featuring unique gifts created by local craftsmen, artists, and entrepreneurs. It's a perfect spot to explore and connect.
Taking a cooking class side by side at Taste Buds Kitchen in Chelsea offers fun and interactive cooking classes tailored for couples, ranging from international cuisine to dessert-focused sessions.
Go for a stroll through the Brooklyn Botanic Garden, which offers a beautiful seasonal lightscape, serene landscapes, including a rose garden, Japanese hill-and-pond garden, and seasonal cherry blossoms.
Visiting a Museum - There are so many choices! From the Solomon R. Guggenheim Museum and the Museum of Modern Art (MoMA) to the Museum of the City of New York, you and your date can explore art, culture and history.
Check out Trivia Night at a bar: Pete's Candy Store in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, hosts popular trivia nights in a friendly and casual setting.
Practice your golf swings at Five Iron Golf (Flatiron) which offers high-tech golf simulators, lessons, and a vibrant social atmosphere, making it ideal for a unique and fun outing.
Final Thoughts
Side by side dates are perfect for connecting with your partner without feeling the pressure of constant direct eye contact. You may be surprised how much easier it is to connect when your brain doesn’t have to juggle both eye contact and conversation.
